Loss
by Yukiko of the Snow
Summary: Summary: A man can only lose so much before he loses himself. Spoilers to Chapter 499!


So unless you were living under a rock for the last week, we all know what went down last week in Fairy Tail. And if I can speak for all Gruvia shippers, chapter 499 was probably one of the most heartbreaking chapters ever. I... I just needed to write this oneshot to let out all my feels T-T!

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Loss

Summary: A man can only lose so much before he loses himself. Spoilers to Chapter 499!

"JUVIA!" The distraught ice mage cried out as he held his fallen comrade close to his chest. Her fading heartbeat beating against his heart, the heart she had sacrificed her own life to keep him alive. "Juvia! Please…." He pleaded as he rested his head on hers. "Please open… your eyes…" he voice cracking as he tried to suppress his tears. "Please don't leave me…"

 _Why_? He asked himself as he clung tightly to Juvia. _Why do I always have to lose those who I love?_ It was as if he was cursed to lose everyone he had ever grown to care about. First his parents. Then Ur. Ultear soon followed in her mother's footsteps. And then having to take the live of his own father. And now Juvia, the woman he loved, though he never told her that directly. He thought that if he never openly admitted that he adored the beautiful, blue haired water mage, then maybe she would be spared the same fate as the others. He knew how much it hurt Juvia to think that that her love would never be returned. However it was necessary if that meant keeping her alive. But now as Juvia laid dying in his arms, he knew it was now or never

"Juvia," he whispered as he placed his hand over her cheek. "I love you. I love you so much, it hurts" Tears began to roll down his cheeks, landing on Juvia's face. "I'm sorry it took me so long to finally say those words to you. I swear I'll make it up to you." He tightened his hold around her. "We can go back to our home and live together again. We can eat together, train together. I promise I'll even let you sleep in my bed. Just…please…don't…leave…me!" Gray pleaded with Juvia, hoping that by some miracle that Juvia would return to him. That her lovely blue eyes would open once more and tell him that she loved him too. But Juvia gave a loud gasp as she gave her final breath. "Juvia…" Gray shuttered as he placed his shaking hand over Juvia's heart, praying that she was still with him. But there was no heartbeat.

.

"Ju…via" Gray could only stare down at her, tried desperately to convince himself that this was nothing more but a terrible nightmare. That any minute now, he was going to wake up still on top that hill that oversaw the capital, alongside the rest of the group. With Juvia sleeping peacefully by his side. But there was no denying. He was forced to face the harsh reality. Juvia Lockser; his beloved Juvia, was gone. His mind suddenly began to replay all the painful moments in his life, as if fate was trying to torture him even more.

Walking through the ruins of his hometown while calling out for his parents, only to discover the bloody remains of his mother and father.

Ur smiling down at him, before casting Ice Shell and disappearing.

Passing the aged version of Ultear, the daughter of his foster mother, after giving up her life span to give Gray a second chance at life.

Giving his father one last embrace before fading away, leaving him an orphan once again.

And now, watching the only woman he had ever loved dying in his arms. He turned his head up towards the heavens as he let out a heart wrenching cry that could be heard from miles awhile. Suddenly he felt a surge of darkness run through his entire being.

Was this the darkness Invel was talking about? The one caused by the Devil Slayer Magic?

No. this was a different force at work. This was a darkness that Gray had always felt within him, for as long as he could remember. A terrifying power that first reared its ugly head when his parents was slaughtered by the monstrous demon that laid waste to his hometown. Though he had tried his hardest to keep this evil hidden deep within himself, it only grew stronger with each loss he suffered. And every time, it became more difficult to suppress the demon force brewing within. Now, after losing Juvia, he felt it taking over his body once more; this time it was stronger than ever before. He tried to fight it once more, but his mind was too warp from agony to control it. He could only sit back and watch as he lost himself to the raging evil within.

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"Brandish was heading in this direction, if I do recall." The Winter General said to himself as he walked thought the battlefield, quite content with himself of what had occurred just a while ago. Not only did he successfully complete his mission, but he was able to take out two of the strongest mages from that damn Fairy Tail guild at once. He didn't even have to sully his own hands in the process. To think that both those simpletons would be foolish enough to simultaneously kill themselves, for the sake of the other. The irony of it all was just too much.

 _To sacrificed yourself for another_. Invel thought as he sneered. _How absolutely preposterous_. It was nature human instinct to survive, by any means necessary. For someone to choice death over survival, out of love of all asinine reason, was beyond stupidity. But as he took a few more steps, he was suddenly bombarded by a Magic Power so fierce, it made him stop dead in his tracks.

 _What is this?_ His body began to tremble out of sheer fear. It was nothing he had ever experienced. It was certainly not human nor low level demon. No, this power emitted such a sickening aura that it could rival that of his majesty. As he turned around, he came face to face with the ice mage from before.

"No," he muttered to himself as he began to step backwards. This man couldn't possibly be the same being. This thing had the aura of a devil; cold, heartless, and malicious. And those eyes, radiating so much hatred, they could freeze the depths of hell itself.

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 _What incredible power._ Gray thought as he slowly marched towards the bastard who had taken his everything away from him. With this power, he would destroy Invel, Zeref, END and anyone else would ever dared went against him. He wouldn't stopped until he had every last one of those assholes on their knees, begging for their miserable lives, right before he slaughtered them in cold blood. With this power he would end this war before anyone else had to die.

But at what cost? Even now, he could feel the last bit of his humanity slipping away. Pretty Soon he would become nothing more than a blood thirsty beast. Would he be able to differentiate friend from foe or would anyone who crossed his path be considered a target.

But to Gray's surprise, this didn't matter to him anymore. Now that Juvia was gone, he had no more reason to hold on any longer. Why would he? Just so he could lose another loved one? And if he were to be taken down by one of the few loved ones he had left, he would be fine with that. At least he would die without any more attachments to this world. If anything, this was probably a most fitting end to a cursed soul such as himself.

He had lost so much in his short life, what did difference did it make if he lost himself as well.

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A/N: So there you go. According to my sister, this is a very dark story. but I have been in a dark place since Monday. I want to believe that Juvia will come back, but who knows. Maybe Hiro Mashima could be a dick and make Juvia the first hero to die.

In case there was any confusion, I have a theory that Gray is part demon because I believe that Silver was a demon(don't try arguing against it because I am not changing my beliefs ). And losing Juvia was Gray's breaking point. But that is just me.


End file.
